The Classics Decomposed

Ken as Doctor FrankenHamlet strives to bring back his lost love Ophelia, make ammends by resurrecting Polonius and even agrees to give his Mom Gertrude a second chance. In this scene, Frankenhamlet stands over the open grave of Ophelia.

Frankenhamlet: "Dearest Ophelia, who I hath, hast, have wronged. Can I make you to be again? Or will you not to be? That is the question."
Ophelia:"Oh, faithless Frankenhamlet, this too, too solid flesh hath lain in this cold ground too, too long to be again."
Cut to the lab of Doctor Frankenhamlet. It is night, the candles glow revealing the fair Ophelia. Frankenhamlet prepares to try his "To Be or not to be" theory on his deceased beloved. A bolt of lightening illuminates Frankenhamlet's face. His look is that of a Dane obsessed.

Frankenhamlet:"Soft, my heart beats like a jackhammer on an Elsinore street. Shall I dare this most ungodly experiment? Shall I defy the will of God and strive to revive my fair Ophelia? And what of Polonius, her goodly father, who I hath struck down in a moment of ire when I was being rather unsonly with my goodly mother? Oh, I am a wretch! A sordid creature with no hope of redemption! But, wait? What if, I, with my scenery chewing ways, should succeed in this most deeply disturbing of acts? Would a Noble prize for science be in the offing? Or wouldst I finally get my Oscar?"

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Enter Gertrude, mother of Hamlet, widow of Hamlet Sr., widow of Claudius, recently deceased herself, but has come back to her son in the form of a ghost.

Gertrude: "Hamlet, beloved son, I come to you my dearest boy."
Hamlet:"Mother? I hear and see you as but a ghostly presence. How fair you mother? Have you seen my dear father? Or were you consigned to burn in the fires of hell with my Uncle/Father Claudius?"
Gertrude:"Oh, good Hamlet, do not speak in such a cruel way to me."
Hamlet:"Cruel? Cruel? Was it not you who married the murderer of my father. Of your husband?"
Gertrude: "You do hold a grudge. Please, let the past alone and listen to my warning! You are about to perform a deed that is against the will of God."
Hamlet:"You would know about that, wouldn't you, mother."
Gertrude:"It will do you no good to try to stop my message. Listen to me, for my time is short. You must not revive the fair, Ophelia. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark and it lies on the table right under your nose."

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Take Me Back To The Classics Decomposed
Let us fly from this dark dungeon and go visit Jerry and Deano
Yo,driver, get thee and me to Taxi Driver Hamlet!