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The Classics Decomposed

The Classics According to Ruin'dHens

 A classic under de(con)struction at all times!

May the Masters have mercy on our souls. May we have mercy on the Masters!





"We know what we are but not what we will be"



What a piece of work we are!

Let's face it a good number of people find dealing with the classics tedius, bland, and sometimes just plain boring. Since we have such a love of the classics in every imaginable from we thought we'd take a refreshing approach to them, sort of color them up a bit! The classics according to our rather warped but well-meaning minds. To celebrate them, if you will! Who knows, by the time we're done you may find yourself wanting to read or view them for the very first time or wanting to revisit them! It's our hope that you enjoy the site and take time to visit some the other entertaining and thought provoking sites linked here!




May we all have mercy on the classics







 The Bard meets Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat! 

If The Cat in the Hat were to meet Hamlet what would they possible have to say to one another? Dine on green eggs and ham in some small cafe outside of Elsinor, perhaps?







Classics Recomposed



Travis Bickle is...

Taxi Driver Hamlet

 Remember Robert De Niro's Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver? Read on as Travis Hamlet Bickle takes a bite out crime, Ophelia, and his evil politician uncle Claudius P. Doleton!

...You talkin' to me? Yep, we're talking to you!



There is not doubt there is something rotten in Denmark! As Gertrude yells: Oye! FrankenHamlet! How many times do I have to tell you to take out the Garbage? I can't, I'm dead!

Hold That Hamlet!

A new Martin and Lewis (until recently discovered) film!



Visit our funny man at home!



> The Hamlet Homepage! This site offers just about everything you need to know about Hamlet and then some. There's even Prince Charles interpetation of the 'To be. Or not to be" speech.






Raspootin's Cyber House of Fashion


What to wear? What to wear?

This question has vexed humankind since the first loin cloth! Let the world renown Ras, designer to the stars set you on the path on of painless fashion without losing weight, buying tons of unnecessary fashion magazine, and walking into boutiques trying on clothes simply designed for the stick figure types. No one ever wants to be a fashion disaster. Even William Shakespeare was mindful of the dreadful question! Bet even he wondered if Desdemona would be caught in plaid!\ Ahhh, what to wear? What to wear?





Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the theatre!



Really Important Films


We like a great film just like all the others critics out there! Why we'll even review a film we haven't even seen! ... In the words of Margo Channing 'Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride!' Out of our way Siskel, Ebert, and Koch we've got some serious reviewing to do! Or something like that!





Anthony Minghella's THE ENGLISH PATIENT to many film-goers is the ultimate in romance! What? Haven't you seen it yet? What! Not even once? We don't know how to tell you this but even Seinfeld's Elaine's got an opinion on TEP!

Trust us! You don't have to like it and you don't even have be a fan of Ralph Fiennes! For heaven's sake how could you miss the Oscar winning best film of 1996?

Maybe before or after you see the film you might even want to pick up a copy of Michael Ondaajte's novel The English Patient! Ondaatje's writing is like a water colour in the making!




tBooker Award winning novelist and poe Michael Ondaatje






Let's (not)make CONTACT! So what's a few aliens between friends?

SHALL WE DANCE? Get down and boogie! Ha!






Our Theatre Pages!


Ivanov: Adventures in 'A' row!



Ever wonder what's like to sit just mere inches from the stage at an English theatre newly adapted version of Anton Chekov.s IVANOV? Did you ever also wonder what it's like to watch articles of clothing fly of cast members in the heat of impassioned dialogue? Bet you never thought the English actually slept through the classics did you?

Well find out this and more as we take you on an adventure to the Almeida Theatre company's production of IVANOV starring You- know -who! Well, if you don't then you'll just have to go in and find out, now won't you?




The Almeida Theatre Company located in London's Islington District is delighting crowds on  both sides of the Atlantic! Visit their website to see what's planned for the 1997 season!

The Barbican Theatre home of the Royal Shakespeare theatre! Another interesting site. It's also worth a visit if ever you find yourself in London!

Shakespeare In the Park!








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